Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

 

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

  

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

  

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

  

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

  

A recent study has found that woman who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.

  

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

 

 America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

  

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

  

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

  

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

  

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

  

Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.

  

You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.

  

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

  

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"

  

I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."

  

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.

  

My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about the 175 pounds I've gained since then.

  

Denny's has a slogan, "If it's your birthday, the meal is on us" If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks!

  

The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I'm pretty sure she's going to get me something.

 

 On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

  

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

 

 I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

  

Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

  

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

Give up your guns and see what happens

Why We Have a 2nd Amendment: Venezuela Arms Loyalists to Eradicate Unarmed Resistance

By Matt Agorist|Apr. 27th, 2017

After talks of peace between pro-government loyalists and opposition groups broke down in December, Venezuela has descended into chaos. Food and medicine shortages, a collapse of their currency, and an encroaching police state by a failing regime have caused a state of turmoil that seems impossible to quell. However, Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro may have just found his answer — slaughter the resistance.

Over the past few weeks, millions of Venezuelans have taken to the streets in a mega-protest against, what they call, the Maduro dictatorship. These protestors have been met with heavy backlash from Maduro. Earlier this month, Maduro used helicopters to drop tear gas on protesters, and clashes with police have left dozens dead.

Because the protesters outnumber the police, Maduro has come up with a unique way to battle his problem with dissent — kill them. Last week, Maduro announced that he will be arming as many as 400,000 civilians loyal to the regime.

As FOX News reports:

Speaking to thousands of militia members dressed in beige uniforms gathered in front of the presidential palace, Maduro said that vision remains relevant as Venezuela continues to face "imperialist aggression."

"A gun for every militiaman!" he cried.

What will be particularly effective about Maduro's plan to arm his loyal citizens is the fact that the other citizens have all been disarmed.

In 2012, using the guise of civilian violence and the government's promise to keep its citizens safe, Venezuela banned the private ownership of guns. All law abiding citizens quickly followed the rules and turned in their weapons. However, as was predicted, the criminals did not turn in their guns and the homicide rate spiked following the ban.

Venezuela's homicide rate went from 73 per 100,000 people in 2012 to 82 per 100,000 people in 2015.

Now, it is only the criminals and the government who have guns. The law abiding citizens who want to ouster their would-be dictator are now fish in a bucket to the tyrants. And, when there are 400,000 more gun barrels pointing at them from the recently armed loyalists, you can rest assured that their demise — or, at the very least, their silence — is almost guaranteed.

To those who study the evolution of socialist dictatorships, this scenario is all too familiar. A tyrant takes over by duping the citizens into thinking they can provide everything for free. When the tyrant is unable to fulfill those promises and has squandered the nation's resources, the people become angry — but not before they are disarmed.

When the unarmed people rise up, they demand the tyrant leave. Now, however, the socialist tyrant can easily refuse as he's the only one with guns.

It's because situations, like the one currently unfolding in Venezuela, have played out numerous times throughout history, that the founders of America chose to put the 2nd Amendment in the Constitution.

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

The 2nd Amendment wasn't put into place so Ted Nugent could piss off liberals in a horrible reality TV series, or so the Duck Dynasty folks could shoot their dinner. It was put there because the ability of a people to defend themselves is the only thing standing in between of freedom and slavery.

Of course, a society without guns sounds fantastic and, in a perfect utopian world, it would be nice not to need a gun. However, we do not live in utopia.

It's not about "clinging to the second amendment" or being addicted to firepower. It's about protecting you and your family and no one having the right to hinder that protection.

As John Locke stated, self-defense is the first law of nature. Each person owns his or her own life and no other person has a right to take that life. Those who would attempt to stop you from defending yourself, are attacking the very right from which all other rights are derived – protection of one's own life.

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks
eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at
you...
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:



Democrat's Answer:

·Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
·What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
·Does the man look poor or oppressed?
·Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
·Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
·Could we run away?
·What does my wife think?
·What about the kids?
·Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
·What does the law say about this situation?
·Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it?
·Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
·Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
·Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
·If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?
·Should I call 9-1-1?
·Why is this street so deserted?
·We need to raise taxes, have a paint & weed day.
·Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
such behavior.
·I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to
come to a consensus
·This is all so confusing!



**** ****************************** **************
Republican's Answer:

BANG!


*********************** ****************************
Southerner's Answer:

BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click.....
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG!
Click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips or Hollow Points?!"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one?!"
Wife: "You are NOT taking that to the taxidermist!

Rhinestone cowboys

On second thought

Marriage in Heaven

A young couple was on their way to get married when they were involved in a fatal car accident. It was really bad, like something from a Quentin Tarantino movie.

At any rate, they soon found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates of heaven staring at St. Peter himself. Upset, but wanting to make the best of a bad situation, the woman asks St. Peter if the can get married in Heaven, since they couldn't before they died.

                                                                                                    

"Wow," he said, "that's the first time in all of eternity anyone has ever asked me that. I'll go check!"

 

So, for what seemed like an eternity, St. Peter was gone. Innumerable amounts of people were backing up the line at the gates of heaven. He was gone for so long, the young couple began having doubts as to whether they really wanted to be with each other for all of eternity.

 

Just when they were about to give up hope, St. Peter finally returned. "Good news! Looks like we can make this happen!" he said with an exhausted smile.

 

"Great!" replied the young man, "but before we go through with it, we were wondering… what if it doesn't work out? Can we get a divorce in heaven?"

 

"Holy Crap!" gasped St. Peter. "It took me four months to find a priest up here, do you have any idea how long it would take to find a lawyer?"

 



Refurbished Old photos

A Washington, D. C. Filling station in 1924   Audrey Hepburn (WOW) Mark Twain in 1900 Charlie Chaplin at 27 years old in 1916 A car crash in Washington D.C. Around 1921 Albert Einstein, 1921 Brigadier General and actor Jimmy Stewart. Stewart flew 20 combat missions over Nazi-occupied Europe, and even flew one Mission during Vietnam. Pablo Picasso Elizabeth Taylor in 1956 (another WOW) Alfred Hitchcock Big Jay McNeely, Olympic Auditorium, 1953 Charles Darwin  Clint Eastwood, 1962 Hindenburg Blimp crash British Soldiers Returning from the front in 1939 Albert Einstein on a Long Island beach in 1939 Winston Churchill, 1941 Country store in July 1939 Gordonton, North Carolina Unemployed Lumber Worker and His Wife 1939 W.H. Murphy testing the bulletproof vest in 1923 Marilyn Monroe (WOW again) Joan Crawford on the set of Letty Lynton, 1932 An RAF pilot getting a haircut while reading a book between missions Babe Ruth's 1920 MLB debut Clint Eastwood working on his 1958 Jag XK 120 in 1960 View from the Capitol in Nashville, 1864 Baltimore Slums, 1938 American Poet Walt Whitman, 1868 Louis Armstrong practicing backstage in 1946 Girls delivering ice, 1918 Lou Gehrig, July 4, 1939. Photo taken right after his famous retirement speech. . He would pass away just two years later from ALS. Times Square 1947 . Lee Harvey Oswald, 1963, being transported to questioning before his murder Trial for the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. Helen Keller meeting comedian Charlie Chaplin in 1918 Burger Flipper 1938 Madison Square Park New York City around 1900 Union Soldiers taking a break 1863 WWII soldiers at Easter Red Hawk of the Oglala Tribe on horseback 1905 Boys selling flowers in 1908 An Oklahoman farmer during the great dust bowl in 1939 Louis Armstrong plays to his wife, Lucille, in Cairo, Egypt 1961 Brooklyn Bridge in 1904 Two Boxers after a fight   Sophia Loren and Jayne Mansfield (double WOW) Brothers Robert Kennedy, Edward 'Ted'  Kennedy and John F. Kennedy outside the Oval Office. Cornell Rowing Team 1914 Henry Ford, 1919   Please share these amazing photos with others

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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