Here is an example of why sentence-structure is so critical:
Business was terrible and not picking up. The boss had to fire
somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.
It was an exceptionally difficult decision since they were both super
workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decided that he would fire the first one
who used the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover, having
partied all night. She went to the water cooler to take an aspirin.
The boss approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this
before, but I have to either lay you or Jack off."
"Could you just jack off?" she says: "I feel like shit..."
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Sunday, April 19, 2015
The math is a little convoluted, but the money really does flow
Create any kind of entitlement and people immediately start figuring
how to work it.
How to get $75K for you and your girlfriend............
Follow these easy, proven, 13 steps to financial well being.
1. Don't get married to her.
2. Use your mom's address to get mail sent to.
3. Guy, (YOU) buys a house.
4. Guy rents out house to his girlfriend who has 2 of his kids.
5. Section 8 will pay $900 a month for a 3 bedroom home.
6. Girlfriend signs up for Obamacare so guy doesn't have to pay out
the butt for family insurance.
7. Girlfriend gets to go to college free for being a single mother
8. Girlfriend gets $600 a month for food stamps
9. Girlfriend gets free cell phone
10. Girlfriend get free utilities.
11. Guy moves into home but uses moms house to get mail sent to.
12. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims one kid on taxes. Now you
both get to claim head of house hold at $1800 credit.
13. Girlfriend gets disability for being "crazy" or having a "bad
back" at $1800 a month and never has to work again.
This plan is perfectly legal and is being executed now by millions of people.
A married couple with a stay at home mom yields $0.00 dollars.
An unmarried couple with stay at home mom nets:
$21600 disability +
$10800 free housing +
$6000 free Obamacare +
$6000 free food +
$4800 free utilities +
$6000 Pell grant money to spend +
$12000 a year in college tuition free from Pell grant +
$8800 tax benefit for being a single mother
=$75,000 a year in benefits and not a penny of tax.
And you thought those Escalades were from dealing drugs.
how to work it.
How to get $75K for you and your girlfriend............
Follow these easy, proven, 13 steps to financial well being.
1. Don't get married to her.
2. Use your mom's address to get mail sent to.
3. Guy, (YOU) buys a house.
4. Guy rents out house to his girlfriend who has 2 of his kids.
5. Section 8 will pay $900 a month for a 3 bedroom home.
6. Girlfriend signs up for Obamacare so guy doesn't have to pay out
the butt for family insurance.
7. Girlfriend gets to go to college free for being a single mother
8. Girlfriend gets $600 a month for food stamps
9. Girlfriend gets free cell phone
10. Girlfriend get free utilities.
11. Guy moves into home but uses moms house to get mail sent to.
12. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims one kid on taxes. Now you
both get to claim head of house hold at $1800 credit.
13. Girlfriend gets disability for being "crazy" or having a "bad
back" at $1800 a month and never has to work again.
This plan is perfectly legal and is being executed now by millions of people.
A married couple with a stay at home mom yields $0.00 dollars.
An unmarried couple with stay at home mom nets:
$21600 disability +
$10800 free housing +
$6000 free Obamacare +
$6000 free food +
$4800 free utilities +
$6000 Pell grant money to spend +
$12000 a year in college tuition free from Pell grant +
$8800 tax benefit for being a single mother
=$75,000 a year in benefits and not a penny of tax.
And you thought those Escalades were from dealing drugs.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Joke time
Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk, she engages them in a "question and answer time".
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth," he replies.
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions:
First - whatever happened in Benghazi?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
And, third - whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?"
At that moment the bell rings for recess.
Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume, Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's right, question and answer time. Who has a question?"
A different boy puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks what his name is.
""Johnny, Ma'm."
"And what is your question, Johnny?"
"I have five questions:
First - whatever happened in Benghazi?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?"
Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And, fifth - where's Kenneth?"
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth," he replies.
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions:
First - whatever happened in Benghazi?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
And, third - whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?"
At that moment the bell rings for recess.
Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume, Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's right, question and answer time. Who has a question?"
A different boy puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks what his name is.
""Johnny, Ma'm."
"And what is your question, Johnny?"
"I have five questions:
First - whatever happened in Benghazi?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?"
Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And, fifth - where's Kenneth?"
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Did this show up in your local media?
(TNS) — Two Transportation Security Administration agents who worked
at Denver International Airport have been fired over a scheme that
involved manipulating screening equipment so one of them could grope
passengers he found attractive, according to the Denver Police
Department.
An anonymous tip about the scheme led to an internal TSA
investigation, which in turn led to the firings, according to a Denver
police report. The report was recently released after media inquiries.
A TSA investigator told police that one of the two agents, a man,
would signal the other agent, a woman, when a man he wanted to touch
was approaching the screening area.
The female agent would falsely tell the scanning machine that the
traveler was a woman, so the system would indicate an abnormality in
the traveler's groin area and allow the male agent to perform a
pat-down search, according to the report.
During the pat-down, the male agent would touch the "passenger's front
groin and buttocks area with the palms of his hands, which is
contradictory to TSA searching policy," the report said.
The female agent told the TSA investigator she had participated in the
scheme at least 10 times, the police report said.
The fired agents' identities were not released.
No criminal charges have been filed by the district attorney's office
because no victims have been identified, according to the police
report.
The TSA did not immediately reply to a request for additional comment.
–Ryan Parker
Los Angeles Times
at Denver International Airport have been fired over a scheme that
involved manipulating screening equipment so one of them could grope
passengers he found attractive, according to the Denver Police
Department.
An anonymous tip about the scheme led to an internal TSA
investigation, which in turn led to the firings, according to a Denver
police report. The report was recently released after media inquiries.
A TSA investigator told police that one of the two agents, a man,
would signal the other agent, a woman, when a man he wanted to touch
was approaching the screening area.
The female agent would falsely tell the scanning machine that the
traveler was a woman, so the system would indicate an abnormality in
the traveler's groin area and allow the male agent to perform a
pat-down search, according to the report.
During the pat-down, the male agent would touch the "passenger's front
groin and buttocks area with the palms of his hands, which is
contradictory to TSA searching policy," the report said.
The female agent told the TSA investigator she had participated in the
scheme at least 10 times, the police report said.
The fired agents' identities were not released.
No criminal charges have been filed by the district attorney's office
because no victims have been identified, according to the police
report.
The TSA did not immediately reply to a request for additional comment.
–Ryan Parker
Los Angeles Times
Does anyone know of a Christian president in a muslim country?
It Was You....Mr. President
Written by Mike Gallagher.
Many listeners have asked about the "President Obama: It Was You"
essay that someone sent me. Here it is:
President Obama: This is why you didn't go to France…
It was you who told an Islamic dinner - "I am one of you."
It was you who on ABC News referenced - "My Muslim faith."
It was you who gave $100 million in U.S. taxpayer funds to re-build
foreign mosques.
It was you who wrote that in the event of a conflict -"I will stand
with the Muslims."
It was you who assured the Egyptian Foreign Minister that - "I am a Muslim."
It was you who bowed in submission before the Saudi King.
It was you who sat for 20 years in a Liberation Theology Church
condemning Christianity and professing Marxism.
It was you who exempted Muslims from penalties under Obamacare that
the rest of us have to pay.
It was you who purposefully omitted - "endowed by our Creator" - from
your recitation of The Declaration Of Independence.
It was you who mocked the Bible and Jesus Christ's Sermon On The Mount
while repeatedly referring to the 'HOLY' Quran.
It was you who traveled the Islamic world denigrating the United
States Of America.
It was you who instantly threw the support of your administration
behind the building of the Ground Zero Victory mosque overlooking the
hallowed crater of the World Trade Center.
It was you who refused to attend the National Prayer Breakfast, but
hastened to host an Islamic prayer breakfast at the WH.
It was you who ordered both Georgetown Univ. and Notre Dame to shroud
all vestiges of Jesus Christ BEFORE you would agree to go there to
speak, but in contrast, you have
NEVER requested that the mosques you have visited adjust their decor.
It was you who appointed anti-Christian fanatics to your Czar Corps.
It was you who appointed rabid Islamists to Homeland Security.
It was you who said that NASA's "foremost mission" was an outreach to
Muslim communities.
It was you who as an Illinois Senator were the ONLY individual who
would speak in favor of infanticide.
It was you who were the first President not to give a Christmas
Greeting from the WH, and went so far as to hang photos of Chairman
Mao on the WH tree.
It was you who curtailed the military tribunals of all Islamic terrorists.
It was you who refused to condemn the Ft. Hood killer as an Islamic terrorist.
It is you who has refused to speak-out concerning the horrific
executions of women throughout the Muslim culture, but yet, have
submitted Arizona to the UN for
investigation of hypothetical human-rights abuses.
It was you who when queried in India refused to acknowledge the true
extent of radical global Jihadists, and instead profusely praised
Islam in a country that is 82% Hindu
and the victim of numerous Islamic terrorists assaults.
It was you who funneled $900 Million in U.S. taxpayer dollars to Hamas.
It was you who ordered the USPS to honor the MUSLIM holiday with a new
commemorative stamp.
It was you who directed our UK Embassy to conduct outreach to help
"empower" the British Muslim community.
It was you who funded mandatory Arabic language and culture studies in
Grammar schools across our country.
It is you who follows the Muslim custom of not wearing any form of
jewelry during Ramadan.
It is you who departs for Hawaii over the Christmas season so as to
avoid past criticism for NOT participating in seasonal WH religious
events.
It was you who was un-characteristically quick to join the chorus of
the Muslim Brotherhood to depose Egypt's Hosni Mubarak, formerly
America's strongest ally in North Africa;
but, remain muted in your non-response to the Brotherhood led
slaughter of Egyptian Christians.
It was you who appointed s your chief adviser, Valerie Jarrett , who
is a member of the Muslim Sisterhood, an off-shoot of the Muslim
Brotherhood.
--------------------------------------------------------
It usually takes the historians 50+ years to start telling the truth
that everyone already knew. Make a note on your 2058 calendar.
Written by Mike Gallagher.
Many listeners have asked about the "President Obama: It Was You"
essay that someone sent me. Here it is:
President Obama: This is why you didn't go to France…
It was you who told an Islamic dinner - "I am one of you."
It was you who on ABC News referenced - "My Muslim faith."
It was you who gave $100 million in U.S. taxpayer funds to re-build
foreign mosques.
It was you who wrote that in the event of a conflict -"I will stand
with the Muslims."
It was you who assured the Egyptian Foreign Minister that - "I am a Muslim."
It was you who bowed in submission before the Saudi King.
It was you who sat for 20 years in a Liberation Theology Church
condemning Christianity and professing Marxism.
It was you who exempted Muslims from penalties under Obamacare that
the rest of us have to pay.
It was you who purposefully omitted - "endowed by our Creator" - from
your recitation of The Declaration Of Independence.
It was you who mocked the Bible and Jesus Christ's Sermon On The Mount
while repeatedly referring to the 'HOLY' Quran.
It was you who traveled the Islamic world denigrating the United
States Of America.
It was you who instantly threw the support of your administration
behind the building of the Ground Zero Victory mosque overlooking the
hallowed crater of the World Trade Center.
It was you who refused to attend the National Prayer Breakfast, but
hastened to host an Islamic prayer breakfast at the WH.
It was you who ordered both Georgetown Univ. and Notre Dame to shroud
all vestiges of Jesus Christ BEFORE you would agree to go there to
speak, but in contrast, you have
NEVER requested that the mosques you have visited adjust their decor.
It was you who appointed anti-Christian fanatics to your Czar Corps.
It was you who appointed rabid Islamists to Homeland Security.
It was you who said that NASA's "foremost mission" was an outreach to
Muslim communities.
It was you who as an Illinois Senator were the ONLY individual who
would speak in favor of infanticide.
It was you who were the first President not to give a Christmas
Greeting from the WH, and went so far as to hang photos of Chairman
Mao on the WH tree.
It was you who curtailed the military tribunals of all Islamic terrorists.
It was you who refused to condemn the Ft. Hood killer as an Islamic terrorist.
It is you who has refused to speak-out concerning the horrific
executions of women throughout the Muslim culture, but yet, have
submitted Arizona to the UN for
investigation of hypothetical human-rights abuses.
It was you who when queried in India refused to acknowledge the true
extent of radical global Jihadists, and instead profusely praised
Islam in a country that is 82% Hindu
and the victim of numerous Islamic terrorists assaults.
It was you who funneled $900 Million in U.S. taxpayer dollars to Hamas.
It was you who ordered the USPS to honor the MUSLIM holiday with a new
commemorative stamp.
It was you who directed our UK Embassy to conduct outreach to help
"empower" the British Muslim community.
It was you who funded mandatory Arabic language and culture studies in
Grammar schools across our country.
It is you who follows the Muslim custom of not wearing any form of
jewelry during Ramadan.
It is you who departs for Hawaii over the Christmas season so as to
avoid past criticism for NOT participating in seasonal WH religious
events.
It was you who was un-characteristically quick to join the chorus of
the Muslim Brotherhood to depose Egypt's Hosni Mubarak, formerly
America's strongest ally in North Africa;
but, remain muted in your non-response to the Brotherhood led
slaughter of Egyptian Christians.
It was you who appointed s your chief adviser, Valerie Jarrett , who
is a member of the Muslim Sisterhood, an off-shoot of the Muslim
Brotherhood.
--------------------------------------------------------
It usually takes the historians 50+ years to start telling the truth
that everyone already knew. Make a note on your 2058 calendar.
Friday, April 3, 2015
The Haircut
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he
asked about his bill and the barber replied, "I cannot accept money
from you, I'm doing community service this week."
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a
'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his
bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you, I'm
doing community service this week."
The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank
you card' and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Congressman came in for a haircut and when he went to pay his
bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm
doing community service this week."
The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen
Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between
the citizens of our country and the politicians who evidently think
they own it.
As Ronald Reagan said:
"BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!"
asked about his bill and the barber replied, "I cannot accept money
from you, I'm doing community service this week."
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a
'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his
bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you, I'm
doing community service this week."
The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank
you card' and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Congressman came in for a haircut and when he went to pay his
bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm
doing community service this week."
The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen
Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between
the citizens of our country and the politicians who evidently think
they own it.
As Ronald Reagan said:
"BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!"
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Civics lesson for today
A fine is a tax for doing wrong, a tax is a fine for doing well
And the state mafia does not care how they get it so long as they get it.
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