12 COMMANDMENTS FOR SENIORS

  When you get a little older you may want to remember these points! 

#1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.
#2 - "In Style" are the clothes that still fit.
#3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.
#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."
#6 - "On time" is when you get there.
#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.
#8 - It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free…and three sizes smaller?
#9 - Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.
#10 - Growing old should have taken longer.
#11 - Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.
#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.
#13 "One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.

That's all for today...

If you don't smile for a couple of these YOU have a problem

As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life In 2020, remember:

1. Jim Baker & Jimmy Swaggart have written a new book. It's "Ministers Do More Than Lay People. 

   
2. Transvestite:  A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the pope and your boss is, the pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning - one brilliant flash and it's gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and the ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes.  Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. Definition of a teenager?  God's punishment.....for enjoying sex.

And, as you slide down that Banister of Life.....pray that all the splinters are pointed the other way.

Somehing to consider (keep in mind you are being lied to from all directions)

The madness continues

We have all been well-trained since our earliest glance at a drug-ag supported TV into The Germ Theory paradigm. In other words, we must act as if evil disease-causing germs are waiting to jump on us at every turn.

If the Germ Theory was true, we would have all died off many eons ago. But we didn't. How is that? Do your homework. Buzzards don't attack live animals and germs don't attack healthy people. However, they are ready for anyone with underlying health conditions. And, whether an exotic virus or a common cold, they will always be there to serve you [pun intended]. If the "right one" can't do the job, a new one will spring up (or be developed).

Masks are a political tool. We can't be sure what is next, but next is coming. 

I am sick of the whole thing [pun intended].  Rex Harrill

2 + 2 = 4

A Senate investigation has been launched to determine if this is routine AOC nuttiness or Babylong Bee satire

Monday morning zingers...If I get time I may put a few on Twitters to set off some TDS

 

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AND THE BEST SAVED FOR LAST - - -

 

 

 

Vote for Bernie-Biden socialism and enjoy the good life

The 10 planks of the party

1) If I like it, it's mine.
2) If it's in my reach, it's mine.
3) If I had it once upon a time, it's mine.
4) If I can take it from you, it's mine.
5) If it looks like mine, it's mine.
6) If I saw it in my dream, it's mine.
7) If it's valuable, it's mine.
8) If I can tear it apart, all the pieces are still mine.
9) If I get tired of it, OK, it's yours.
10) However, if I want it back, it's mine.  

She Retired

Uncle Don's

They requested police protection at a "defund the police" protest

This is one of those things that make you want to say, "You're shittin' me."

Don't get mad that I think of you when I see stuff like this

Crude, but it does make a point about the mob