People get offended at Darwin and his "evolution theory". So do the monkeys

The Monkey's Viewpoint

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree,

Discussing things as they're said to be.

Said one to the others, "Now listen, you two,

There's a certain rumor that can't be true –

That man descended from our noble race.

The very idea is a big disgrace.

"No monkey ever deserted his wife,

Starved her babies and ruined her life,

And you've never known a mother monk,

To leave her babies with others to bunk.

Or to pass them on from one another

'Till they scarcely know who is their mother.

"And another thing, you'll never see,

A monk build a fence 'round a coconut tree,

And let the coconuts go to waste,

Forbidding all other monks to taste.

Why, if I'd put a fence around a tree,

Starvation would force you to steal from me.

"Here's another thing a monk won't do –

Get out at night and get on a stew.

Or use a gun or a club or a knife,

To take some other monkey's life.

Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss,

But brothers, he didn't descend from us!"