Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Modern diagnostics

Urine Test for Old Men
 
My urologist's office called the other day and explained that my scheduled appointment would now be done over the phone due to the corona-virus.  
One hour before the scheduled teleconference, I was instructed (via email) to administer my own urine test.  This was to avoid those lab tests and costly co-pays that doctors tell you to get at Quest Diagnostics (they're shutdown too).
 
Directions:
Simply go outside and pee on the front lawn.
If ant's gather:  DIABETES.
If you pee on your feet:  PROSTATE.
If it smells like a barbecue:  CHOLESTEROL.
If you failed to find it: NEUROPATHY.            
If your wrist hurts when you shake it:  OSTEOARTHRITIS.
If you return with it outside your pants: ALZHEIMER'S.

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