Marriage, Part 1
A macho man married a good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want—and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it.
These are my rules. Any comments?
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."
Marriage, Part 2
A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yelled, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife—Cold As Ever!'"
"Yeah?" she replied. When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband—Stiff At Last!'"
Marriage, Part 3
The husband, a physician, and his wife were having a fight at the breakfast table. The husband got up in a rage and said, "And you are no good in bed either," and stormed out of the house.
After some time, he realized he was nasty and decided to make amends and phoned her.
She came to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband said, What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She said, "I was in bed."
He replied, "in bed this early, doing what?"
She answered, "Getting a second opinion."
A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yelled, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife—Cold As Ever!'"
"Yeah?" she replied. When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband—Stiff At Last!'"
Marriage, Part 3
The husband, a physician, and his wife were having a fight at the breakfast table. The husband got up in a rage and said, "And you are no good in bed either," and stormed out of the house.
After some time, he realized he was nasty and decided to make amends and phoned her.
She came to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband said, What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She said, "I was in bed."
He replied, "in bed this early, doing what?"
She answered, "Getting a second opinion."
Marriage, Part 4
A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they went to a party. The man decided that it was time to go home and wanted to find out if his wife was ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six."
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouted right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they went to a party. The man decided that it was time to go home and wanted to find out if his wife was ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six."
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouted right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
Marriage, Part 5
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 a.m. for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 a.m." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed that said, "It is 5:00 a.m. Wake up!"
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 a.m. for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 a.m." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed that said, "It is 5:00 a.m. Wake up!"
No comments:
Post a Comment