Chuckles

Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

 

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

 

In a London Department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

 

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY  PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

 

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

 

Outside a second hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.   WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

 

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

 

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

 

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

 

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,  BUT THE BULL CHARGES

 

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

 

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.  (PLEASE KNOCK HARD - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

 

"Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter". . .

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!They put in a correction the next day

 

 

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers. . .  Now that's taking things a bit far!

 

Miners Refuse to Work after Death. . . Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant. . . See if that works any better than a fair trial!

 

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile. . . Ya think?!

 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures. . .  Who would have thought!

 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges. . .  You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

 

New Study of Obesity. . . Looks for Larger Test Group!  Weren't they fat enough?!

 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors. . . Boy, are they tall!

 

And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead.  Did I read that right?

 

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to ...(maybe even a chuckle).