Did I read that sign right?TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -In a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------------In a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------------In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE
BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------In an office:AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND
STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --Outside a second-hand shop:WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --Notice in health food shop window:CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so.)ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------Seen during a conference:FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------------Notice in a farmer's field:THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE
FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------Message on a leaflet:IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL
TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------On a repair shop door:WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --Man Kills Self Before Shooting WifeAnd DaughterThis one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room
and asked who wrote this It took two or three readings before
the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!
They put in a correction the next day.------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert SaysReally? Ya' think?------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------Police Begin Campaign to Run Down JaywalkersNow that's taking things a bit far!------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes OverWhat a guy!------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------Miners Refuse to Work after DeathNo-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------Juvenile Court to Try Shooting DefendantSee if that works better than a fair trial!----------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------War Dims Hope for PeaceI can see where it might have that effect!------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last AwhileYa' think?!------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------Cold Wave Linked to TemperaturesWho would have thought!------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect HomicideThey may be on to something!------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------Red Tape Holds Up New BridgesYou mean there's something stronger than duct tape?------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery ChargeHe probably IS the battery charge!------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test GroupWeren't they fat enough?!------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in SpacecraftThat's what he gets for eating those beans!------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------Kids Make Nutritious SnacksDo they taste like chicken?****************************** ****************************** ********************Local High School Dropouts Cut in HalfChainsaw Massacre all over again!****************************** ****************************** ****************************** ****Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot DoctorsBoy, are they tall!****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****And the winner is...Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds DeadDid I read that right?****************************** ****************************** ******************************
Thursday, July 8, 2021
A bit of fun that helps you realize the written word can be misleading
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