*My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there.
*As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of … it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
*Me: Sobbing my heart out, "I can't see you anymore … I'm not going to let you hurt me again."
Trainer: "It was one sit-up.
*Sorry I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
*Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
*Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think "That can't be accurate."
*I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
*Teacher: Give me a sentence that includes the words: defence, defeat, detail.
Student: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first and then detail.
*God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round…and laughed and laughed and laughed.
*I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
*Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.
*I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
*Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out "You have reached your final destination."
*My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
*Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling, and I'm still alive.
*As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of … it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
*Me: Sobbing my heart out, "I can't see you anymore … I'm not going to let you hurt me again."
Trainer: "It was one sit-up.
*Sorry I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
*Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
*Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think "That can't be accurate."
*I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
*Teacher: Give me a sentence that includes the words: defence, defeat, detail.
Student: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first and then detail.
*God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round…and laughed and laughed and laughed.
*I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
*Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.
*I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
*Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out "You have reached your final destination."
*My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
*Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling, and I'm still alive.
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